So I've drafted and redrafted the application questions for my Writers' Academy application. I've drafted, had readers' reports, cogitated, polished and re-polished my writing sample. I've gone through everything with a fine toothcomb. In theory, it's *got* to be ready to send out.
I just know, as soon as I click the return button, the FEAR will strike. Have I done enough? Is the sample good enough? Have I picked the right one?? Is it emotional enough?? Can it be better? Have I missed something obvious? Are there typos or grammar errors? Can they smell my desperation emanating off the electronic form?! (Though in all fairness, they probably know already, on account of these blog entries).
The problem, when you want (really, really want) something, is that there's a good chance you go and wreck it. You sabotage yourself by saying or doing something really dumb. Or both. I've lost count of the number of times I've screwed up opportunities 'cos I want them - and conversely, got stuff I was way more chilled about. The key here then is to be relax, aloof, cool. Whatever will be, will be. C'est la vie. Etc, blah blah blah.
I've loved continuing drama since I was a little GIRL. Though movies are fantastic and I love them, my DREAM was always to write for TV, not film. I always wanted to be the one whose name was at the end of Eastenders. Or Casualty, Holby City, Doctors. Corrie! Emmerdale! ALL OF THEM.
Has anyone got any chickens or goats I can sacrifice to Aunty? A beetle would do.