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Monday, December 15, 2008

Top 5 Reasons Why Parentheticals Are Useless

5. The Director and Actors need room to make THEIR interpretation. This is the most-oft quoted case AGAINST parentheticals: if loads of lines of your dialogue tells the actors HOW to say lines "(condescendingly)", "(pleadingly)", "(wryly)" or whatever, then how is the Director going to direct? Personally, when it comes to specs and samples I don't think a writer should worry too much about this since the likelihood of the script ever getting made is slim, HOWEVER I think writers should avoid isolating the reader by being too prescriptive like this. It's very wearing to read HOW lines should be said all the time - I think it gives the impression a reader can't actually read any colour or subtext into what's being said. The exceptions to this rule of course should be ambiguous lines - bits of dialogue where the meaning may not be obvious, so "(sarcastic)" or "(deadpan" is obvious, but I think "(whispers)" is okay too, especially when you have a character speaking at the same time as a speech going on or whatever, since otherwise it *could* be confusing.

4. A writer needs to show when a character is laughing, smiling, winking, etc. Yes, sometimes a writer needs to do this - but why not just put it in your scene description? Besides, reserving a parenthetical for something like "(smiles)" just takes up unneccessary space on the page IMHO.

3. A writer needs to show a character on the phone. Do you need to put "(phone)" under every single line of dialogue? Really? I'm unconvinced it's needed for anywhere other than the first time they answer. In fact, I don't put "(phone)" at all in my dialogue, since I make it part of scene description. When it comes to parfentheticals and phone conversations, the only time I use them is when a character is on the phone AND talking to someone in the same room as them at the same time, like this:

VICTOR: (on phone) Hang on a sec... (to Jade) ... Will you shut up??

It's a trick I picked up from some scripts I read - and I think it works well. Try it.

2. A writer needs to mention a character is singing a line. This is a toughie and for years I too put "(sings)" before lines such as these. Then a reader said they didn't like it, so I tried italics instead, but that didn't work either. Then, because I watch television with the subtitles on because my kids are foghorns, I noticed subtitles indicate singing like this:

MOLLY: # I can see clearly now, the rain is gone #

Those little hash marks work: when I did a read-through recently with some actors I purposefully didn't mention the singing to see what would happen. Not only did the actress actually sing, she sang with gusto!


1. A writer needs to indicate a character's accent and way of talking. Noooooooooooooooooooo! I hate to see "(Scottish accent)" or whatever under characters' names and before they speak. what's the point? You can indicate as a writer what region they're from:

LUCY: Any road, pass me salt, will you?

TOM: Aye, Lass.

Same goes for dialects or ways of speaking according to age - if your character is seventeen, they might say something like this:

JAKE: Shut up, you emo - it's well-good!

Again, it's worth remembering that a writer should use such regional words sparingly: there's nothing worse than reading a script where you have no clue what the hell they're saying because you've never been to that area. A classic example here is Movern Callar, when she says, "Then the greeting began..." I was like, WTF? She's just found her boyfriend dead and she's greeting people??? In the end I had to do a Google search to find out that "greet" in colloquial Scottish actually means "cry". I just didn't know.

I don't mind parentheticals that say stuff like "(In Chinese)" or "(in Russian)", since English keyboards would have a hard time typing these sort of characters anyway, even if the writer in question actually new the language since we don't have the same alphabet. However, if writing a European language, I think it's a writer's duty to at least have a go at the language their character speaks - there's Free Translation if you want to do it the easy way, or if you happen to know anyone Spanish, French, etc, let them cast an eye over your dialogue.

The important thing to remember with this however is to NOT overdo it: you don't want whole chunks of Spanish, French, etc - just a smattering here and there. Times of stress are good - people are renowned to revert to their Mother Tongue when they're angry, excited or in other states of high emotion. I got a phone call the other day from an ex-Student of mine, a Spanish lady, who was trying to tell me she was getting married: the only English words that came out were "Guess what... Excellent!" The rest was garbled Spanglish.

But if languages really aren't your bag, try using a traditional name from that country (another hint) and representing how a character might speak in BROKEN English. Germans for example often speak in the present continuous when they are not fluent English speakers:

PIETER: I am thinking we are making fun here.

(Lots of languages don't have the same type of perfective aspect English has (perfective being the notion of "to have"), so if you want to show a character is NOT English, then substituting "have" for "make" is an obvious choice since it's a very clear mistake).

Spanish people don't have the notion of "picking up" in their language (as in, "I will pick you up at eight"). Instead they *might* say:

MARIA: I will catch you at your door at eight.

Lots of other languages have no concept of the word, "will" and "shall", meaning they can't give a *sense* of the future of what they INTEND to do (though their own language might have a future tense instead):

RUTH: Today I go to town (instead of "Today I WILL go to town.")

Even American and Australian English has difficulties. Say "chav" to an American, they have no idea what you're going on about. Equally, "poorly" generally means nothing to an Australian. Similarly, they have words us Brits have no concept of. You can use these to your advantage, don't worry about translation - as long as you don't go overboard, it will be fine.

Whilst we're on the subject, any funny 'lost in translation' issues you've come across? Over to you...


Mr Brainwhispers said...

An American once told me that his wife had to go on a diet because she had a big fanny.

I nearly fell over dead.

Lucy said...

I bet you did! apparently there is (or was) a brand of tights (panty hose to our American friends) called "Fat Fanny" tights... Can't see 'em selling too well over here.

Adaddinsane said...

He he he :-) Happy Mondays!

I agree with everything you said ... except I wrote a script set in Paris, with French, Polish and English being spoken.

So I put in a parenthetical at the start of each bit where a character was speaking a certain language, but didn't mention it again until that character changed language. (So the Brits who couldn't speak anything foreign never had them.)

I think this was a decent compromise (mind you, I am reliably informed the script was total pants).

As a programmer I don't think I would *ever* trust translation software. Too risky and a waste of energy, if the thing was going to be made they could pay someone who understands meaning and nuance to provide the translations.

I always remember the translation of "out of sight, out of mind" to Russian and back: "invisible idiot".

(Though, thinking about it, it could work if you make a point of running the translated material back to English, and seeing what you got. If it had the same meaning as what you started with then you might be able to trust the translation. I still wouldn't.)

Lucy said...

I agree, AD - compromise is everything. If you're using A LOT of other languages, then it's best to be as simple as possible. It's only the odd character here and there it works if you add a *little* flavour of the language. One of the characters Tyrell in my script ECLIPSE is Spanish - and he uses it perhaps 3 times over the whole 90 pages.

"Invisible idiot" - brilliant! Idioms can be really problematic in any language. One of my spanish students attempted "He is his own biggest fan" in an essay and ended up with "the fan is the biggest of all the men"!!

Best translation issue that ever happened to me in a script was when I attempted Slovakian with the use of Free Translation and a dodgy phrase book as it turns out.

What was supposed to be:

"Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to you?"

apparently became:

"You must wear a hell shirt for Jesus."

Scaramanga said...

I have a rather embarrasing one.

When I first arrived in Canada someone gave me a present, it was at a welcome party.

Anyway someone asked me what I thought of it in front of everyone. I said I was cheesin (scottish meaning extremely happy) well the whole place went quiet.

Apparently that word means ejaculating in Canada!



terraling said...

Wise words Ma'am, although I'd have to take issue with your advice re: foreign languages. The BBC aren't too dogmatic about formatting etc., but they do specify that short passages etc should be written in English with the language in parentheses - eg.

(in French)
Do you know the way to the Champs Elysee?

and for longer passages it should say something like (The following is in French...) with the dialogue itself in English.

They don't specify exceptions, but obviously there are cases where you are trying to make a point (or a joke) and would want to write it in the local language, especially exclamations or where the phrase is so common that most English readers would recognise the foreign phrase anyway -- eg Do the French like peas? Ermm, un petit pois.

My RP entry had Spanish, French and Mandarin in the first ten pages. God forbid the formatting scuppered me. Yeah that's it.

Lucy said...

When I've sent stuff to Aunty, I just wrote in Spanish and put the English underneath in brackets. Just in case ; )

The Z said...

By putting something like (smiles) in the script instead of placing it the action you save two lines in the script.

If shorter/tighter is better wouldn't going with the paranthetical be the wiser choice here?

Lucy V said...

Well, like anything Z it depends on context - and whether you even need (smiles) at all... Very often it's obvious from say, dialogue, what a character is feeling. Parentheticals are so often "fillers" in that regard I find.