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Friday, April 06, 2007

School Reports

Well, my financial year ended yesterday like three other million other businesses and I've just finished BANG2WRITE'S accounts. For the second year in a row I have been just shoving receipts, invoices and purchase orders in a folder under my bed. After swearing last year I would NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, of course I did. So a deluge of paper ensued, much cursing and yelling when people knocked on the door for the last two hours. Still, it's done. Phew. I won't do that again THIS YEAR and thus resolve to put everything neatly together, in the right order, writing down each commission, report, development notes etc in my ledger, like good businesswomen do.

Yeah right.

You know, I got a D at GCSE Maths. I had to work hard for that D too. My teacher, the lovely Mr. Osborne, rounded up the "ones worth teaching" and made them sit down the front - the rest of us had to fend for ourselves since he then spent two years ignoring us. My sense of outrage was huge: how DARE he write me off! This was compounded when he wrote in my school report, "Lucy clearly has no understanding of numbers whatsover." He then proceeded to put F/U as a predicted grade. It might as well have said FUCK YOU.

Whilst I have no understanding of algebra (you use letters? WTF?? I thought numbers were used in bloody maths??), tangent ratio (there's a button on your calculator with TAN on - that's the most I know) or Pythagorus' Theorum (I hate triangles!!), I bloody DO understand numbers. I worked in shops from age 12 and to my knowledge NEVER under or over-changed anyone - and those were the days when it was all manual, not those bloody ones like that frigging computer from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. I do the budget in my family home: why? 'Cos if I leave it to Him Indoors, like I did for THREE SHORT WEEKS after I had the baby last May, we go over our overdraft. I can add stuff up and take it away in my head - ok, not brilliantly fast, but I can do it - and I always appreciate EXACTLY what saving I'm making when buying a dress in Debenham's Blue Cross Sale.

And now I run my own business. Numbers are involved again. F/U Mr. Osborne.

What's the most laughable comment on a school report you've ever had?

2 comments:

Lianne said...

I had the same problem with maths as you and am equally proud of my 'D' grade, as my teacher told me I would fail. My reports generally had bland things like "good student" and "making good progress" in humanities subjects, but when it came to maths and sciences it was things like "must try harder". Which is mean when you think about it, because I always did my homework even if it was all wrong, I tried. Oh, and in primary school I got told off a lot for 'fidgeting' and for doodling on copybooks, and was made to stand at the back of the classroom with my hands held up in front of me for a whole afternoon.

Lucy said...

Ah yes, I got that once - tho not my hands in the air: we had to stand on chairs until we started swaying. SO illegal, even then I should think! But whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger Lianne, those young whippersnappers don't know how easy they got it!!! ; )