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Friday, April 13, 2007

He's had his chips...

Well, it's certainly SOMEONE'S unlucky day... My husband has just returned home with only four cans of beer and NO CHOCOLATE! And it's Friday! He's dead, dead to me now. I'm packing his stuff as soon as I get offline. Fool.

P.S. If you're looking, email me your specifications, I may be able to do you a deal. You have to have your own teeth, like cats, kids, beer and chocolate. I don't do women, blokes called Keith or politicians. I thank you.

10 comments:

smalltincup said...

Hello one and all this is the husband,coming to you from beyoud the grave.!!!

I would advise any body how is considering trying out as my replacement to consider it very carefully:
These are the reasons:

I will haunt your ass and my exwif's to be fair.

As you can see my wife or exwife is a homicidal manic.

The real reason for her killing me off is that I found a heap of bones under the patio. And nothing to do with beer or chocolate.

Beware i have given you good warning.

Dave(in spirit)

Lucy said...

I wondered what it would take to get you back on the blog my darling. I see your spelling is as good as ever... Thanks for showing a script reader up in public : P

For the record, I didn't kill him and we don't have a patio. He's sitting in the living room watching FUTURAMA. However, he has given me an idea...

Lianne said...

Doesn't your husband know that returning home minus chocolate is grounds for divorce? My boyfriend brought wine and cakes home this evening, with no prompting from me. I'm feeling quite smug ;-)

Oh, and you don't need to put out an ad for a replacement Lucy - what about the hypnotist guy? Surely you were just waiting for your husband to slip up so you could get a divorce and run away with him?

potdoll said...

Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry

Lucy said...

Omigod, Lianne you're RIGHT! I totally forgot about him. Maybe he'll forgive me if I email him right this second and promise we can do it at 20,000 feet??

Potdoll - I don't get it? Or is that you being random again...

potdoll said...

RANDOM? Me?

I was just getting in the spirit and having a little pretend at being in the audience of the Jerry Springer Show.

potdoll said...

shit i said the word JUST

Andy Phillips said...

Any Jerry Springer, the Opera fans?

'This is my Jerry Springer moment
Don't want this moment to end.
So dip me in chocolate
And throw me to the lesbians
I don't want this moment to end.'

Lucy said...

CHOCOLATE LESBIANS?? Andy, I have some choco bunnies left over from Easter but I've never heard of choco lesbians before: the world has gone officially CRAZY. You bitches better behave. And Potdoll! Go with the flow. You know you want to! JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST JUST... ; )

Sheila West said...

Lucy, does he REALLY have a small tin cup??