Well...Crampon will be going under the knife in the next hour and I'm feeling the pinch of extreme guilt!!
Oh Crampon, your claws are like razors
And you bite like some kind of fur-lined alligator.
But this is not why I remove your testicles!
I am just trying to be the best cat mother
I can be:
So you might never feel the pain
Of teenage pregnancy
Or your girlfriend leaving you
To shack up with some Tom called Fluffy
And then screw you for maintenance
To fund her catnip habit.
Or your kids not recognising you
When you turn up on Saturdays
To take them down MiceDonald's.
To have never loved at all.
In other news, I'm off to the sunny shores of um... London tomorrow. I'll be seeing my lovely Metlab students once again and then afterwards I'll be seeing my wonderful screenwriting bitches The OR, Lara, Elinor and The Good Dog for a spot of lunch like the media whores we are.
What are you doing this weekend?