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Saturday, February 03, 2007

50 Things

Since everyone's having a go at this, I thought I'd jump on the band wagon too!

1. When I was 8, I was so in love with Prince I wrote him a letter asking him to wait until I grew up so he could marry me. The irony was, he DID get married when I was over the legal age, just not to me.

2. I went to a convent school for two terms when I was eleven and got sent to the headmistress' office for being "subversive" (I'd dyed my hair).

3. I'm the eldest of five children, four girls and one boy. When I was growing up, it was like The Waltons: Extreme only all of us were as annoying as John Boy.

4. When I was 13, I watched ALIENS every single day.

5. When I was a child I wanted to be a cartoonist and sent my pictures into my favourite comics, the now defunct (I think) Buster and Whizzer & Chips. They printed them!

6. I went to three secondarie schools as my parents moved around a lot.

7. People think I'm from The North of England as I have short vowel sounds in all my words and I was born there, but I've only ever lived there for approx 15 months.

8. One of The Red Arrows went over my house once when I was a kid and flew so low I could see the pilot inside. I waved to him and he waved back.

9. I originally wanted to be a journalist, but did the training and hated every minute of poking my nose into everyone else's business. I quit when I had to interview the grief-struck mother of a boy who had died during a rugby match.

10. I've been sacked from only one job, and that was as a telephonist. I didn't know what I was doing so kept cutting everyone off.

11. I met my husband when I was 15, but didn't go out with him until I was 24.

12. I've only had three serious boyfriends including my husband and one was a complete nutter.

13. In the summer of 2002 I went on 22 dates as I was writing a magazine feature series called - you guessed it - 22 Dates. I met 16 normal guys, 4 geeks and 2 freaks. One of the freaks still emails me now. But still, 16 normals is a good score, even for an internet dating site, so all you single gals should take heart!

14. My son's uncle is in this band and has a major deal with EMI. If you're into underground ska, you probably like them. I'm looking at you, James Moran!

15. When I was working at a literary agent, I once wrote a report for the playwright Angela Meredith that she did not like AT ALL.

16. Despite the fact I go to London infrequently, I nearly always see someone famous.

17. I once got stuck in a lift with Roddy Doyle, but I'd never seen his picture at the time and didn't realise until about three months later.

18. I can't drive and have twice not been allowed to take my driving test when I got to the test centre because I was shaking so much I was "a hazard". I have now officially given up trying.

19. Despite the fact I am not actually religious, I read The Bible a lot for ideas (or maybe divine intervention??).

20. I'm obsessed with all things eighties - music, films, but NOT fashion. Wow, that was a debacle.

21. I think Batman is the best superhero: he looks good in a rubber suit, is dark and moody (just the way I like my men) and is not genetically-modified with superpowers in any way - he CHOSE to be a hero, infinitely cooler in my book.

22. I absolutely hate reggae. Cannot abide it.

23. I once got stalked by a woman. She said I was "the one". It lasted three weeks.

24. I absolutely hate puzzles and will never, ever do them. Not even a wordsearch and especially not those stupid bits of metal that you have to prise apart. Argh!

25. Though I email people constantly and am on the phone pretty much all day, I actually have very little contact with people in real life in general. This isn't because I can't socially interreact, I just don't like it much - I only do solicited cyber-contact, not random politeness/conversation.

26. I am never going to teach again once this academic year is over - I started because I thought it would be good for me to "get out" (see above) but have come to the conclusion that actually it's just going to give me an ulcer. I don't "do" out in the real world, dah-link!

27.My husband works with ASBO kids, is hard as nails and is an insomniac. Which means I don't need a burglar alarm.

28. If there is an apocalypse, my husband has everything we would need to survive in the boot of our car, ready to go. Really.

29.I've always wanted to be a writer and wrote my first "book" when I was eight. It was called DUSTCART GEORGE and lasted for ten pages of my maths homework book. I went to a posh school, so was in a lot of trouble,

30. I have never won any awards for swimming, gymnastics, netball, rounders... I refused to do all of them at school and spent a lot of time outside the headmistress' office.

31. I spend a lot of time on Exmoor. It's the one thing about Devon I really love.

32. I once stole an ex's car and parked it round the corner from his house even though I can't drive. It took ages. He reported it as stolen.

33. I can speak no language well except English, but from my TEFL teaching days have picked up some wicked insults in Spanish, Italian, French, Czech, Hungarian, Slovak and Afrikaans. Hepa Lo Bepa Lo Inja!*

34. When I was a teenager, I was a Goth.

35. I met my husband when we were both working at an attraction on the north coast of Devon called Watermouth Castle. There's a good chance you've been there - everyone seems to have at least once. He operated the swingboats and I was Bubbles The Bear Who Danced. Really.

36. I went on a date once with a guy who had been mauled by a panther. He had some amazing scars but unfortunately loved himself too much for me to want to go on a second date.

37. We have an entire arsenal in the house, so again there is no need for a burglar alarm.

38. My husband is a triplet, not IVF-induced (he's too old), which I always like to tell people and he gets embarrassed about. He gets especially annoyed when people ask if he has a psychic link to his brother and sister. He doesn't.

39. I have never watched the film THE BODYGUARD. And never will.

40. When I was training to be a journalist, I did some really cool work placements at The Guardian, The Mirror and The Voice. I met Harry Harris and Julie Burchill.

41. I actually like ALIEN 3 the best (love that Charles S. Dutton funeral speech) and think the original cut was diabolical: let's put the creature in the lead mill, then oooh - let's just let it out?!?1 Puh-lease! Deus Ex Machinas alert!! Much more exciting when the convicts are running around with the doors.

42. I don't like biscuits and never buy them, much to the chagrin of the males in the house.

43. Whenever I read scripts, I scroll through them first on-screen or flick through them if they're in hard copy, and then write first impressions down from the "look" of them - just like I was taught at the very first literary agent I worked. Old habits die hard...

44. I eat houmous most days and especially when reading scripts.

45. Every now and again I read a script I really enjoy - and phone people to tell them (not the story, just the fact I really enjoyed it).

46. I get LOTS of emails every day from blog readers asking me about what makes the "perfect" script and how to "beat the reader". My reply is always the same: 1) no such thing as the perfect script and 2) SEND MONEY AND/OR SWEETS!

47. Cadbury's Creme Eggs are the perfect confectionary and should be available ALL YEAR ROUND. I gnash my teeth when they disappear and have been known to buy loads and horde them for the summer creme egg draught.

48. Despite the fact I say I am not houseproud, I actually am (sssh).

49. If I had a dog, I'd call him Clive Barker. But I hate dogs, so this would never happen.

50. My children are my absolute highest priority and I would die for them, no question. I know it's the same for my husband too, which is why I married him.


Lucy said...

* Hepa Lo bbepa Lo Inja = Go fuck a dog!


Chris (ukscriptwriter) said...

I was going to do one of these lists, but haven’t had the time to get past 10. I shall have to try harder :)

The spelling is incorrect here but "Deri-ma bakkraka de tetchus da hey!"
is "your mother sucks goats balls" in Urdu (or so I was told).

Lucy said...

Love it Chris! It's added to the list.

Did you know that the word "cheese" in Urdu apparently means "holiday"?

Learn something new everyday...

Anonymous said...

50 things!!!
I couldnt think of that many interesting things about me.
Oh god, I'm boring arent I?

Lucy said...

Brain, I don't believe for a second you're dull. You are the man, after all, who invented the FLASP! (Fly/Wasp hybrids for those not in the know out in cyberland!)

Olaf Legend said...

I done my 50 thing a couple of days since and dont you finding it to be so catharsis? I feel much cleansed.

Optimistic_Reader said...

Hmmm, I'm not sure I can think of 50 things either. They make strangely compelling reading though!

Lucy said...

Olaf, I don't feel so much cleansed as confused.

OR - that's because you're a nosy parker my dear!!!

Just like moi...

Optimistic_Reader said...

Oh, I am a nosy cow alright. I started writing my 50 things but I've got to about 30 and am now stuck. I'm officially a boring fart.

Lucy said...

Yep, sounds it... ; )

Nico said...

Hepa Lo bepa lo inja - not actually Afrikaans, but Zulu. Damn great insult though, and one I use very often - it's tough being a screenwriter on the southern tip of Africa.

Lucy said...

Thanks Nico! Interesting... My mate spoke Afrikaans, so I assumed it was that, he never actually said it was, so that's v interesting.